How to be Mindful ?

We recently got the opportunity to hear through BRBRAITT to Er. Pankaj Rai who is a very renowned International Speaker. So, here’s what is our understanding of what he said, we would like to share with you all.  

He focused on the following concepts –

• Stay Positive
• Stay Present
• Be Mindful
• Stay Strong
• Stay Smiling

He addressed his audience by requesting them to Sit Straight, Keep our Back Straight while we were listening to him.

He said, our Physical and Mental Presence improves our performance. He said try to be present totally. Mental Presence improves performance in many ways.

He explained this with the reference of one of his articles published in TOI, "We are here to discover your talent". He emphasized on the uniqueness of a person that our DNA Encoding patterns are unique.

He explains that any tree would grow only if its roots are strong.

He explained this with another article of his that we need to "make roots strong to discover our talent" . Then only we will get the fruits in the form of Fame, Degree or Job what we want as a goal. He said that Life exists in the moment.

He further referred to his another TOI article “Are you perfect or total?”

He says the deeper you go, the higher you grow.

As a student, we have a lot of negative thoughts coming to our mind, so you need to train your brain for your success and desired results.

If you are fixed and rigid and not accepting challenges of life, then that is a wrong approach. For this he gave the example of the COVID Era we all are in from the last three months. We need to accept the challenges as a part of life. We have to move on with Self Awareness which means that we should know what we are doing in the present moment. We should be aware of our Thoughts, Moments and Actions. Life exists in this particular moment.

We should learn to listen to others without making negative thoughts. We should listen without Prejudice.

In any kind of situation, we should not try to judge others. We should see to it that how can I take advantage of this by upgrading my Soft and Hard Skills to upgrade myself. If you really want to upgrade your life, then you would develop Skills, which could be of two kinds, Soft and Hard. The Hard Skills are our Technical Knowledge which make us more sound in a particular domain. Then you get some platform. Then, further how we speak, listen or watch i.e. our Soft Skills. That defines our Creativity Level. That is our Creativity Quotient (CQ). He introduces us with the term Intelligence Quotient (IQ) that are you learning or not. Further we were introduced with the Emotional Quotient (EQ) that are we a Receptive person or not.

Mindfulness

He explained the three important questions we should ask ourselves -

· What ?

· Why ?

· How ?

He asked the audience that “Is Brain and Mind the same ?”

He explained that the Brain and the Mind are not the same. Just like a laptop, laptop has a hardware it is a physical entity. So, that is our Brain. The laptop has a software so that is our Mind.

So, many people create a lot of phobia and fear in their mind. That is all a part of negative thoughts and negative company.

Everything which exists in your life, creates an impact on your life in terms of hardware and software.

As we program our software with Programming Languages and Codes. Similarly, we program our Mind with Thoughts and Emotions. Your body is psychosomatic. Whatever u think, u say or you repeat, body becomes like that. Here lies the importance of the statement “Yes, I can do it”. By saying this, you initiate a neurological pattern in your body. Your thoughts play a major role in making your personality. Your personality is unique. To make your personality positive, the Roots need to be strong. The Roots are your thoughts, feelings and words.

Our Mind is in two states, Conscious and Unconscious. If we are listening to a speaker, we are Conscious, we are alert, active, and attentive, and we are 100% present there.

If we are partially listening, we miss out little bit of what is said, that is when we are kind of Unconscious. This happens when distraction is there. Due to distraction, your listening ability reduces. This distraction also happens when we are reading.

He explained this with a visual example, where you see two girls are going in a garden.

The girl who is on the left side, she is Full of Mind, thinking about her family, life, job, relationship, friends, things etc. She has all sorts of things going on in her mind.

She is not present in the moment. Her efficiency reduces. She is distracted. She is physically present but not mentally.

The other girl on the right side, she is Mindful. She is present in the moment. She is just enjoying the garden walk. Whatever she would listen, she would receive it 100%.

If a person lives in the present moment. Then past can not corrupt your present. Then your future is good. You need to give your best in the present. So that you give the Best to your future.

If a person is having stress, sadness, fear in the unconsciousness mind, then he is having a lot of negative thoughts in mind. He is full of mind.

A normal human being has 80K thoughts in a day. When we talk about a mindful state, we say that knowledge and creativity are important. The Industry wants something new and Out of the Box. When you do things in new patterns, you become Innovative. All these are the by - products of a Mindful state.

The fear, guilt and unawareness, reduce skills. Thinking can be useful. Too much of thinking can create problem.

For an example, if you are Reading something, once you read something by your heart. You are totally mindful. You are totally involved.

For example, a singer, if he sings from his heart, he sings really well.

How you talk to yourself is important. “Difficult” word should not be used. You have to decide how you program yourself.

If in this moment, you give totality then you are definitely going to give it to your next moment.

Example, if you are student or a working person. You may be reading something. If you are full of mind, then you would not be able to give your best.

So, we should try to transform Normal Reading to Mindful Reading.

Mr. Pankaj Rai explained that many a times, there are situations where we immediately react.

Mindfulness creates a filter. You see a situation, you give a pause, you connect that situation with yourself and then you respond.

Without Mindfulness, we immediately react as per Newton’s Law, “Every Action has an equal and opposite reaction”.

With mindfulness, you respond, you pause, connect yourself with the situation and then give a response.

Every person either Reacts or Responds. Firstly, we should accept that we react or we respond.  Then only we can improve on ourselves. Mr. Rai explained this with an example, he said “There was a Boy and he was with his mother who was dying, so he asked his mother, that what the crux of life is. So, his mother said that if any person is trying to demotivate or criticize you or doing something of this kind, then what you need to do is, wait for 5-10 minutes and then react.”

Mr. Rai explained that everything in this world has Energy. It can just be converted from one form to another. It can be positive or it can be negative.

If you are aware what you are doing, then it’s positive.

If you are not aware about yourself, then it’s negative.

It depends upon your awareness level.

With positive energy, you need to train your Brain in positive direction.

When we are angry or frustrated, we have negative energy.

When you are Intelligent, Innovative, Curious, Supportive, Caring and Motivated, then you are Positive.

Our mind normally can have two kinds of state, Conscious and unconscious. The subconscious mind is a transitive state between the Unconscious and Conscious State. It is related to Hypnosis.

About 20% of our Life Energy which is carried by us is about our thoughts.

What is Intelligence?

Intelligence is our ability to acquire knowledge and solve day to day problems.

IQ = (Mental Age / Chronological Age) *100

Intelligence Quotient is the ratio of Mental Age to Chronological Age.

For an example, If your age physically is 16 years. Then we calculate the mental age by IQ Tests. Further we calculate the IQ.

Whether your Intelligence is increasing with age or not.

Whether your Maturity is growing or not.

Whether you Understanding is growing or not.

If IQ is very high, then your ability to receive knowledge improves.

He explained this with an article on “How to boost your IQ”. This can be done by changing your patterns of work.

Mr. Pankaj Rai asks his audience as how  you work, how you listen, how you behave, is it like a Robot or like a Human.

He emphasized on the eating of Walnut because it has chemicals which are very useful for Mind and Brain.

Mr. Pankaj Rai explained that we should be aware of what we are doing. Eg, if we are drinking a glass of water, or we are shaking our Hands or we are listening to a speaker. We should be aware of what we are doing. We need to break our Mechanical Habits. This is so because we are Live Human Beings and not Robots.

Through the example of Einstein’s equation, he explained that, E= mc2.

He says that Matter and Energy can be transformed into each other.

Giving the example through a visual of an Ice Glacier, where 10% was above water and 90% was below water. He stated that Mind is full of thoughts and memories.

Your Unconscious mind affects your Thoughts and Personality. The more you will be Conscious and Mindful, it will be better for you. The more you will be in present, the more you will be Mindful.  You need to be mindful in whether you are Reading, Listening, Walking or Drinking, you need to be self aware. He explained this concept taking example of a Japanese tradition, where if you are drinking a glass of water or drinking a cup of tea or coffee, then you involve into it so much, that it is equivalent to a Meditative state.

Further, Mr. Rai talks about Emotional Quotient of a person. EQ is important because it tells us about Self Awareness. If your self-management is good, if you observe yourself good, then, EQ is high.

EQ consists of the following:

· Self Awareness

· Self Management

· Social Awareness

· Relationship Manager

IQ + EQ = Success

IQ shows how smart we are.

EQ = W*IQ

Wisdom is more of Practical. Practical Knowledge means experience.

Example, once something becomes part of your experience,  that adds to your wisdom.

When your knowledge becomes a part of your experience, then Life changes and it transforms and our creativity improves.

Since all of us are unique individuals, hence our experience would be different from each other.

If you are wise, then your IQ will be high.

Then your EQ will be high.

The Listening Capacity of a person is 1000 words per minute.

The Speaking Capacity of a person is 150 words per minute. So, there is a difference in between two words.  There is a space between two words. That space is silence.

If you are talking to a person, there should be a Bond with that person.

Mr. Rai further talks about Advanced Communication:-

· Words – 7%

· Tonality – 38%

· Physiology – 55%

1. Words-

· Predicates

· Key Words

2. Tonality –

· Voice

· Tone

· Tempo

· Timbre

· Volume

· Chunks

3. Physiology-

· Posture

· Gesture

· Facial Expressions

· Blinking

· Breathing

Next he explains about, “How to be Mindful?”

We need to be Mindful in our day to day life,

· To transform our life

· To make ourself more Emotionally Stable

· To make ourseelf more Creative

· To make ourself more Self Aware.

What are the Steps to Self-Awareness?

Self awareness is how much aware you are.

Example, if you are self aware, then your listening becomes your hearing. You are even understanding what you have heard.

He emphasizes on the fact that “You have to be Monotasking”. We are not Microprocessors that we are multi – tasking. If we are 100% connected and if we are listening fully, then data goes to long term memory.

If a person is Driving, Eating, Walking or doing any activity, then you are totally involved in that process and then you are self aware.

We should try to be Total.  

We need to ask ourself  “Are you perfect or total?”

Now the question which arises is “How to be Total?”

For which explained that, “To be total”, we should try to be Mono - tasker.

What’s the role of “Diet in Mindfulness”?

Diet is very important in our lives. Diet is not just limited to what we are eating. Whatever we intake through our senses, that is our Diet.

Senses:

· Eyes

· Ears

· Touch

· Smell

· Taste

Diet includes everything what we are Watching, Listening, Eating the whole day.

For example, if we are eating heavy Parathas, then we try to listen a speaker, or we try to do some work, then we are not able to concentrate because all the energy is used there.

So, too much eating or too less eating is a problem.

Mr. Rai explained this with a Case study done by Oxford University,

Oxford Group did this study on around 10 people.

Initially, they took the Medical Parameters of these people like Blood Pressure, Blood Sugar etc.

Then they took two Cases.

Case1: For 5 days, they showed all Vulgar, Bad and Obscene movies to these people.

Result: Later, when they again took the Medical Parameters, they saw the Parameters deteriorated and they developed negative thoughts and mind set. 

Case 2: For 5 days, they showed positive, loving, caring, charming, supportive movies to these people.

Result: Again when the Medical Tests were done, it showed positive results iin Medical Parameters and also people developed positive thoughts and mind set.

So, Mr. Rai explained through this Case Study that what you are seeing, what you are listening, that affects your Psychology, Physiology and that decides what chemicals are secreted by our Body.

If we are listening positive things then our body secrets different kinds of Chemicals.

Our Thoughts transform into Things.

Further, he explained “How to Control your Thoughts?”

For this he answered that how we breathe is important. If Breathing is stable, your thoughts can change.

Giving the example Of Students, he says that in student life, breathing is very important. If we breathe in a stable manner, then oxygen intake will change. Stress levels will reduce. Fear will reduce by regulating your breath. Further, the neurological patterns will change.

Mr. Rai emphasizes on the fact that we should not believe on someone until we try to experiment it ourselves. We should try to experiment and breathe and then believe on this fact of stable breathing.

Experience is very important.

Live the Life and change it.

Feel it.

Breathing Patterns are very important for our health. If your breath is stable, then you are more healthy. Brain will function in a better way.

“Mind is invisible body and

Body is visible Mind”

There are 4 important steps in Breathing:

· Inhale

· Pause

· Exhale

· Pause

So, the question is that “How can you program your mind to use positive words and positive thoughts?”

For this, Mr. Rai explained that we should try to use more and more positive words, watch Live Events, Videos and Motivational Things. So, how you feed your mind is important. It should be done with positive things.

If you sow the seeds full of positive thoughts, then, the tree which will grow and bloom will be full of positive and good fruits.

If you feel tired or stressed or low, then you should try to change your thoughts. You should get this thought in your mind “No one can defeat me or stop me.”

Emile Coue, gave the concept of Conscious Auto Suggestion.

With this Mr. Rai concluded his session by saying that he laid a foundation for all of us. He has sown the seeds. Now it is on us how we can grow ourselves. Simply listening to him will not change. We need to apply it into our individual lives.

He said that we need to break our Mechanical Habits.

He explained this with the example of brushing our teeth,

If we are a Right Handed person, then our right part of the Brain is in synchronization.

So, if we are brushing our teeth with Right Hand, then we should try to do it with Left Hand. Then for that 1 minute, we will become self - aware. Then your Neurological Patterns will grow.

We should try to find out new ways of doing things. We should learn new things.

If we don’t do this, then we become lazy.

For example, if we are reading a book, and we are getting distracted. Now book is in 2-D. We should imagine it in 3-D or another way is we should try to slow down the reading speed. We should change our pattern and our ways. Reading will improve. We should not behave like a Robot. We should try to do things differently.

We should solve brain teasers. Take better diet. Get better results.

Further, Mr. Rai addressed the questions of the audience.

First question taken up by him was about “Overcoming the Stage Fever”.

Mr. Rai answered it like this, People have a fear that what will happen on stage, Body shivers. So, for this as a solution, we should record our own videos. We should start talking among our family and friends.

Another question asked was” How to forget your past?”

Mr. Rai said that, if you are living in present, then lesser past will corrupt. Past is the unconscious state of mind. If you are conscious, then you are in the present, then no past phobias will occur in your mind. For this, Meditation is important.

Next question was about “Exam Fear”

For which he said that Fear starts from thoughts. We should try to be Mindful. We should practice Mindfulness. Example, if you are listening 100%, then no negative thoughts would occur. Then you are Total.

If a person is total, then past does not corrupt that person.

Next question addressed was about the kind of Body Language we should have while we are in an Interview, for which Mr. Rai explained that while we are in an interview,

· We should try to keep our Back Straight, then Gravitational Forces will be Minimum.

· We should try to listen, should not interrupt.

· Listening is an Art. We should have patience to listen others.

· Your impression reflects in Body Language.

· Confidence is in the Eyes of  a person. It is a continuous process.

· Breathing patterns should be relaxed.

Mr. Rai further explains that we should make small commitments. We should fulfil them. That boosts our confidence. We attain confidence with these.

For example, we can make a commitment to ourselves, that “for the next 15 minutes, I will not use social media”, another one is “Today I will not eat too much”. So, we can try such things.

Another question asked by audience to Mr. Rai was “how to talk with other person”

For which he answered that,

Firstly, we should learn how to Self - Talk. We should be positive. We should not think negative about ourselves. We should respect ourselves. We should love ourselves. Then only we would love others.

Our inner journey should be positive, that will be reflected through our words and our expressions.

Another question asked to him was “How to reply in complicated situations?”

For this he answered that, the moment we use the word, “Complicated”, our mind becomes defensive. Some situation is easy for some person and is difficult for some other person.

So, whenever we face any complicated situation, we should relax, pause, we should not react immediately but instead we should respond.

In complicated situations, we should be able to see the Invisible. We should watch the situation carefully. We should not hesitate. We should not hurry. Then you will get the answer.

The next question addressed was “How to increase interest?”

For this Mr. Rai said that when we do something which we love to do, we do it from our Heart. We do it with totality.

Mind has a basic habit of doing things which are easy. We should practice to do things differently. Once you love accepting challenges, then you become a person who never quits easily.

In Mr. Rai’s words,

“A quitter never wins

And a winner never quits.”

Next he talks about “Out of the Box” thinking.

· “Out of the Box” means ”Creative Thinking.”

· What am I doing?

· Why I am doing?

· Is it good or not?

Asking questions to yourself, more Creative you will be. More and more questions you ask. You need to be honest in answering your questions. This is Critical Thinking. In this, Critical Thinking process, you need to break your problem into small parts and then solve it. Meanwhile, you are doing this, during this process, you will get solution to your questions.

While we are moving from Creative Thinking to Critical Thinking, in this process we are solving our problems.

Next thing Mr. Rai focuses on is, “We should choose our friends wisely.” We should get good company. We should never feel defeated. Instead we should always feel motivated.

He gave the example of a moving river and said that,

A River is always flowing, it is always moving. So, it is always giving a fresh feeling whereas if we have a Pond, it is stagnant and it is smelling very bad. So, we should be like a flowing river.

We should accept the challenges. We should use the hurdles as a Stepping Stone in our Life. We should keep moving on and on.

Finally, Mr. Rai ends his sessions by saying that we should always move from

Good->  Better -> Best.

We should always be enthusiastic. We should use every moment of our life. We should give our Best in this present moment to get the next moment as Best.

We should continuously move on with Self Awareness and keep giving ourselves the best results.